Saturday, September 21, 2013

Review: The Rosie Project

Title: The Rosie Project
Author: Graeme Simsion
Date Published: October 2013
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
ISBN: 9781476729084
Pages: 304

Don Tillman, professor of genetics, has never been on a second date. He is a man who can count all his friends on the fingers of one hand, whose lifelong difficulty with social rituals has convinced him that he is simply not wired for romance. So when an acquaintance informs him that he would make a “wonderful” husband, his first reaction is shock. Yet he must concede to the statistical probability that there is someone for everyone, and he embarks upon The Wife Project. In the orderly, evidence-based manner with which he approaches all things, Don sets out to find the perfect partner. She will be punctual and logical—most definitely not a barmaid, a smoker, a drinker, or a late-arriver.

Yet Rosie Jarman is all these things. She is also beguiling, fiery, intelligent—and on a quest of her own. She is looking for her biological father, a search that a certain DNA expert might be able to help her with. Don's Wife Project takes a back burner to the Father Project and an unlikely relationship blooms, forcing the scientifically minded geneticist to confront the spontaneous whirlwind that is Rosie—and the realization that love is not always what looks good on paper.

The Rosie Project is a moving and hilarious novel for anyone who has ever tenaciously gone after life or love in the face of overwhelming challenges.

Meh. That's how I feel about The Rosie Project. This book received 4.11 stars on Goodreads. I usually really trust the star rating on Goodreads ... I use it constantly to give myself an idea of what to expect from a book and this time, I felt betrayed. I expected a four star book and I was saddled with a 1.5 star book. I decided to go ahead and give the book the extra half a star because at least the author was grammatically correct throughout the entire thing. 

When I first heard about The Rosie Project, I was really excited. I thought that the premise was adorable and I couldn't wait to get my hands on it. To my surprise, I won an ARC of the book through a Goodreads giveaway and I would get to read it before everyone else (insert nana-nana-na-na). 

My excitement was quickly extinguished once I cracked open that book and read the first page. BORRRRING! Hell, I know that sounds so rude but it's what is going through my head. I would hate to sugarcoat things and spew sunshine and rainbows when that's not how I feel. 

The main character in this book is Don Tillman, this Don character was a freaking nut job. He micromanaged his life down to the second. He is so stuck in the routine of his life that he doesn't actually live. He just exists. That's fine ... be anal retentive. Be weird. I have no problem with that. I have a problem with it a book being written like the back of a shampoo bottle. It was boring and I just couldn't wait for it to be over. 

Every single person that Don met, he would calculate their BMI. Every. Single. Time. It got old. Really quickly. Don also pointed out a persons faults in his head. Every time he spoke to someone. I found myself saying, "OH, MY GOSH" quite frequently because after a while of reading about these weird things Don does, it just became annoyingly annoying (that's the worst kind of annoying). 

It makes me wonder ... are books like children? Do they just want attention, no matter what kind it is? Good attention, bad attention ... kids don't care one iota, they just want attention. Is bad attention for a book good as well? By writing this scathing review, am I sending people to pick up this book? Will I be held responsible if someone drops into a coma because of my review?!? I sure hope not. Because there won't be enough hospital beds for the victims. 

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