Sunday, January 4, 2015

Review: The Face Transplant by R. Arundel

Dr. Matthew MacAulay is a Facial Transplant Surgeon at a prestigious New York hospital. His friend and mentor, Tom Grabowski, dies under mysterious circumstances. Matthew is forced to investigate. He uncovers his friend's secret. A new technique that allows perfect facial transplants. No incisions, no scars. The surgeon is able to transplant one person's face to another with the perfect result. Tom was able to accomplish this monumental feat with the help of Alice, a supercomputer robot with almost human abilities. While trying to find the people responsible for murdering his friend Tom, Matthew realizes he is the prime suspect. Matthew must flee for his life with the help of Dr. Sarah Larsson, a colleague and reluctant helper who has a secret of her own. Alice helps them make sense of a baffling series of seemingly unrelated events. Matthew is forced to undergo a facial transplant to hide his identity and help to uncover the truth. The clues carry Matthew and Sarah around the world. Matthew stumbles onto a sinister plot of monumental proportions, the real reason Tom was murdered. This discovery leads Matthew all the way to The White House with a dramatic conclusion. Matthew never wavers in his quest for the truth and perseveres against all the odds. He must race to stop a major catastrophe, ratcheting up the excitement until the thrilling conclusion. The Face Transplant is a powerful medical suspense thriller of the first order. The novel was written by a surgeon. The novel has a realism that only a surgeon can bring. The plot weaves politics, medicine and espionage into a tightly paced, intelligent thriller. The novels crescendos page by page to a totally unexpected conclusion.

What in the hell was that?!? I did NOT want to start my new year off like this but (Whoomp!) there it is. Haha ... that song jumped into my mind when I wrote "there it is" ... back on track ... let me just say this ... there was no "shocka locka" going on while reading this. I don't know what that means but it was part of the song that now won't get out of my head and if there were such a thing as shocka locka, I bet this book wouldn't have it.

When I first read the blurb on The Face Transplant, I should have known. I should have known that it was going to just really stink because of how much information was put into the summary!! Why in the world would you put all of the important parts of the book on the back?!? Why not leave something for a surprise? The only thing surprising about this novel is the fact that it didn't come with a refund. I know that sounds harsh but here's the deal ... as a reader, I want to be entertained. If I wanted to be bored out of my mind, I would read the dictionary. Now I do believe that I have an ARC version of this book and maybe a lot was changed before the final product was put out onto the market but the version I read was not good. At all. Oooh ... and I take offense to the phrase "crescendos page by page". Crescendo means increase. Increase means to become more. This most certainly did NOT crescendo.

I cracked this book open (metaphorically, since I read it on my Kindle) and the first thing that I read was this introduction or something titled The Beautiful Life. It felt like I was being preached at ... I don't have any clue what this had to do with the damn story. Then again, I will be honest ... I tried to finish this book and I just couldn't. I would rather try and scoop my eyeballs out with a rusty spoon and dirty bald eagle talons than read any more than my 109 pages that I tortured myself with. I hate leaving a book unfinished but in order to preserve my sanity, I had to chunk this one.

After the whole "Beautiful Life" debacle, I wanted to just get into the story. Thankfully, I found that the main character was boring as hell and not in a sexy/mildly-interesting way. He was boring. There's this one part at the very beginning when he is talking about maybe contracting three deadly diseases while he was operating on someone and you know what his response was? Was it freaking the hell out like any normal person? Or being upset? Or crying or wondering what the rest of his life might be like if he gets to live for much longer?!? No it was "WHAT A PITY". No sane person is going to have that kind of reaction if they were in that type of situation. It just won't happen.

The writing was unrealistic, stiff and extremely stilted. I could have been reading a textbook of some kind rather than this "thriller" for all the emotion that was in it. I don't think I'll be picking something up by this author ever again. Ever. Well, Whoomp, there it is.

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