Friday, October 7, 2016

Book Review: Size Matters (Size Matters #1) by Alison Bliss

The rules of (fake) engagement . . .
Leah Martin has spent her life trying to avoid temptation. But she's sick of low-fat snacks, counting calories, and her hyper-critical mom. Fortunately, her popular new bakery keeps her good and distracted. But there aren't enough ├ęclairs in the world to distract Leah from the hotness that is Sam Cooper - or the fact that he just told her mother that they're engaged . . . which is a big, fat lie.

Sam sometime speaks before he thinks. So what started out as defending Leah's date-ability to her judgmental mother soon turned into having a fiancee! Now the plan is to keep up the fake engagement, stay "just friends," and make Leah's family loathe him enough to just call the whole thing off . But Sam has an insatiable sweet tooth, not only for Leah's decadent desserts but her decadent curves. Her full lips. Her bright green eyes. Yep, things aren't going quite according to plan. Now Sam has to convince Leah that he's for real . . . before their little lie turns into one big, sweet disaster.


It feels like eons ago that Ms. Alison Bliss sent me a message asking if I would be interested in reading her first book Rules of Protection. I wasn't disappointed then and I haven't been since. Bliss is just one of those authors that seems to just have "it". Her books are hilarious and romantic and steamy and completely realistic and down to earth. And after reading her latest book, I have a serious case of author love. 

First, this book had me ROLLING from the very first page. Talk about hilarious. Our 9yo son kept asking me what I was laughing about and it's not like I could say that I was laughing about testicles. Talk about awkward. So be ready with the, "Nothing" or "Just stuff" answers when you start this one. You've been warned. 

I really don't want to delve too much into the book because I'm not very good at keeping secrets and I don't want to give stuff away ... I will say this ... the main character, Leah, is pretty much every girl out there. Leah thinks that she's chunky and that no hot dude could possibly be into her. Basically, every girl I know has had this feeling. It was simultaneously heartbreaking and heartwarming to be invited into Leah's life while she is traversing the rocky road of being attracted to someone who you think couldn't possibly have feelings for you as well. I saw a bit of myself in Leah. I won't lie. I've had these doubts. Actually, I've had them in almost every single relationship that I've been in and even though Leah is a fictional character, it feels like she just "got" me. It's a special thing to connect with a character like that. It doesn't happen very often.

Okay ... onto lighter things ... Alison Bliss has a dirty mind. That's the only possible explanation for the sexy scenes because I don't get shy very often but this book made me blush! For the love of all things fluffy ... some of the scenes in this book were so hot that I felt embarrassed to read them. Not that that kept me from actually reading them. Hello! Ugh. They were gooood. 

And of course, I should say something about the plot and the characters and the flow of the book ... here's the deal: I wouldn't change one damn thing. The plot was perfect, just enough stuff going on to keep the book flowing at a great pace without feeling bogged down. The characters were nothing short of perfection and that's that.

Ooh! I almost forgot, Bliss teaches you some good stuff in this book! Like how a dude would give his right testicle to take an adorable toy poodle for a walk. This is the kind of shit you file away because you just KNOW it will come in handy some day. I have it on good authority that this will be a Jeopardy question some day. Not really. But that would be cool. OMG. Maybe Darrell Hammond could do his Sean Connery impression on SNL thing and use this little testicle/poodle tidbit! Swords for $500, Alex!

I CAN NOT wait until the second book comes out which probably won't be until 2019 because life isn't fair. I'll wait impatiently (like I always do) and then I'll read the book in one setting (like I always do) and then I won't fix the kids dinner and they'll get to have whatever they can come up with (which is what always happens when a Bliss book comes out). With Size Matters, they feasted on oatmeal, popcorn and spinach salads. Hey, they chose that weirdo combination. They enjoy Bliss book time as much as I do! I think I'm going to go reread this right now. Dude. Such a great book. 

* I received this novel in exchange for an honest review *

Available: November 29th, 2016

No comments:

Post a Comment